Wednesday, August 31, 2011

What if...

A deaf, mute person went to a bank and couldn't communicate with the teller. The deaf/mute person slips the teller a note asking for a withdrawal without explaining they are deaf/mute. Would the teller think they are being robbed and call the police? On that note, is it illegal to slip bank tellers notes?

Been stuck in my head all day

You know what I'm glad I'm not?

        A fricking dolphin. I'm glad I'm not a dolphin. There is a crapload of practice that must go into what they do. If I were a dolphin, I would be the one you would never see. You only want to see the cool dolphins at sea world that are super in shape and talented. I would most likely be a fat lazy dolphin. Have you ever seen an obese dolphin? OFCOURSE YOU HAVEN'T. I would like to see one now that I think of it, but not at sea world.

Swimming with this dolphin is not really therapeutic, it's sorta just disturbing.

       The main animals where the rule of "the fatter, the better" applies is with more cuddly animals. Pandas, penguins, and cats, there are good amount more I assume. Fish, on the other hand, can't handle being fat. It's just not cute. Puffer-fish are the only exception. So if you are faced with the decision to be an animal, be a penguin in a zoo. Nobody cares how fit you are, the lazier you are the better. When I grow up I'm gonna be a penguin.

Power Outage

I haven't had power for the past three days really and in that time I really learned something. I learned how goddamn boring it must have been for anyone living in the times of candlelit rooms. I'm all for reading a book and going outside, but at nighttime, electricity makes things more fun.
I thought myself back in time to when I was sitting in the living room with my family at midnight. We talked and laughed and had a good time. But honest to god, conversations can only last so long. I love my family to death, but lights are what make the nightlife appealing. Reading a book by candle light sounds charming on paper, but when put into practice is just difficult due to the eyestrain. I can survive perfectly without power during the daylight, night time just becomes boring. But I suppose I can still stay awake through all hours of the night even in the most boring situations. Glad to have to have the power back and glad to appreciate it that much more. Our founding fathers would have never gotten anything done if they had a ps1 with crash bandicoot. Also, soupy icecream from the powerless fridge don't taste to bad.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Google may or may not know everything.

The other day I lost my keys and I was on the computer. I thought to google "Where are my keys" I stopped myself before hitting search though because I realized that if google actually knew where my keys were, then I'd live the rest of my life in fear.
I found this when cleaning my house. I made this list during the crack unit in health class as a way to prove to the teacher that crack ain't so bad after all.

you are the One ring to rule them all luke skywalker. -Albus Dumbledore

I carved and painted a wand. When I was finished, I decided to place it on my lightsaber display stand. Ooh, plus I called up the cool kids 
to hang out, but they won't return my calls.

Oh and the laughter we had.

The end of an Era

When asked about the birth and the spine-shattering, uterus-tearing sex scene in the last twilight movies, Kristen Stewart said "The birth is really effective, and I've heard it really hits you in the face."
I'm praying that the movie is released in 3D so the birth actually hits you in the face.

Rock you like a hurricane.

I was working on putting the final two cards on top of what would have been a world record card house a couple days ago, then a friggin earthquake hit, knocked it all right down. What are the odds! Naturally I was pissed. But I'm gonna stay persistent! This sunday I'm gonna try again on the eastcoast Beach. Anybody who wants to help make the biggest card house in the world, come on down! I'll just check the
weather report to see if it'll be okay to do it and we'll schedule a time. just gimme a sec.


Friday, August 5, 2011

It Turns Out That She Was Actually Your Cousin: An Introduction

This blog is dedicated to everything I find funny. It's a matter of senses of humor, which I know are dependent on as many screwed up variables as a coked up algebra teacher. (cough). I do not claim to have a great sense of humor but it's worth a shot seeing what things are funny to some people and what things are not. Hopefully my thoughts, pictures I find amusing, and reblogged crap from successful blogs will entertain.