Oh hey, would you look at this?

Mute the video on the left, and watch the video on the left with the music on the right side video playing.

Keep a straight face. I dare you.

CLICK THIS TO SEE THE VIDEO

Time for an update

No beating around the bush this time, I'm gonna tell you immediately what I enjoyed today. I enjoy having a working internet connection since two days ago. My routers been on the fritz and I've been trying my best to do anything to fix it. My solutions for fixing my internet connection was to google, how to fix a router. I quickly figured out the flaw in my plan only to come up with the same plan every thirty seconds.
ANYWAY. I'M FRIGGIN BACK.
          To update in the laziest way possible, I'll simply state what I enjoyed the past two days I missed now.
          Thursday, I enjoyed trying to live without the internet by entertaining myself in the best ways. For example, pushing both thumbs moderately hard over your closed eyes makes an awesome free light show. Did that for over an hour while listening to music. I completely lost myself. I recommend to anyone with an hour to kill in search of a "spiritual" experience. Press your thumbs to your eyes...or ya know, you could just take drugs instead. Either or.
         On Friday, I enjoyed not having to come up with a somewhat interesting blog post. Screw blogs and being judged on my thoughts. You don't know me blog reader! You're not my mom! There is a slim chance you are my mom! Okay, sorry mom, I'll get off the computer.

I Enjoyed Coming up with another variation for the same title of blogpost for the past couple days...

but now I'm gonna cut this out. Too monotonous to me. I thought it'd be fun to use the word today and enjoy in every title, but I can't keep coming up with variations. So the end of an era is upon us.

I wrote a poem today, I enjoyed doing it. I felt like Shel Silverstein.

The most beautiful girl is named Bethany Sue

I know this as fact, and soon you will too.

I need no opinion or other’s review.

Her smile, blonde hair and great eyes of blue,

I never felt love till she came into view.

I was flustered and blushed a bright shade of red hue.

We both have been friends ever since we were two.

I would fight for her love with my master kung fu.

I would travel cross mountains and caves and bamboo.

I would run I would sprint I would take a canoe

I would run I would sprint I would take a canoe

Woah, what was that, was that déjà vu?

I would clean myself up, repeat rinse and shampoo

I’d travel Australia, get her a kangaroo

I would cook her a dinner, a soup or a stew

Perhaps I’d get fancy, chicken cordon bleu.

When she walks down the street, heads will rotate askew.

If you make a mistake, forget it, we coo!

When you’re at the party, good times will ensue.

There is not but one girl who could ever outdo,

The amazing and wonderful Bethany Sue.

Wait just a minute, wait could it be true?

You changed your name from Bethany Sue?

Well what is it now, who am I talking to?

Bethany…Orange? Oh, okay uhm.

The most beautiful girl is named Bethany Orange…

Her personality was as glorious as a… groorarnngeeee- I think we should see other people Bethany.

Enjoyed topic of Today

Sometimes my mind is not always as sharp as I hope for it to be. Sometimes this actually works in my favor.

       There are plenty of times in which something has been hidden from me all my life and when I am finally able to see what it is, I can't comprehend how I couldn't have already comprehended it. I'm talking about having one's mind blown. Many bits of information can be mind blowing. people devote a lot of time into trying to screw with others' minds. Just look at magicians. Mind blowing is just one of the requirements necessary to become a magician. Magicians and philosophers are at heart, cerebral prostitutes (they blow your mind, heh heh heh)

"Are you looking for a good time?"

      But there are other ways of blowing minds, whether using subliminal messages, or just over analyzing things. Point is, my mind was blown recently.
      Have you ever heard the one about the chicken crossing the road? He crossed the road to get to the other side. This is a very simple joke and I never thought anything else of it; until now. The chicken crossed the road to get to the other side. You still not following? The other side as in Heaven. Yes, the chicken "attempted" to cross the road for the sole purpose of getting hit by a car and ultimately crossing from this life to the next. I know. I can't believe it either.

 
Today, I enjoyed having my mind blown.

How I Enjoyed Today

       Life cannot always be happy a wonderful all the time, but sometimes you have try to hold life upside down by it's ankles and vigorously  shake any little bit of joy you can get from it.

      Been having a rough day today, but turned it around by trying to cheer myself up. Some songs for instance just can put you in a good mood. I made my first attack at my bad mood with my most obvious of happy songs in my artillery.

Don't Worry Be Happy.

 

      

  I was still bummed out so I tried some of the wackier songs of Bob Dylan. 

Honey Just Allow Me One More Chance

 

The strongest weapon in my arsenal of music to help me fight off the blues, is none other than...

Mr. Blue Sky by ELO

 

With these few songs, you can't ever feel sad longer than the 30 seconds of each song.

 
   Today, I enjoyed happy music.

Enjoyed Thing of the Day

        If anyone ever says to you "hey, guess what!" It's more fun if you actually guess rather than just say "What?" I've found this to make life more interesting. If you say "guess what!" force the person to take a couple guesses. Nobody ever guesses and you'll never whether or not it's fun unless you try it out. Just a tip.
       On an unrelated note, I enjoyed something today. I was standing beside a group of older people around their mids 50s or 60s. I didn't think much of them at first until I began eavesdropping because I had nothing else of importance to do. They began talking about the slang terms they used when they were kids. I wound up looking up some of the ones I heard and remembered them saying, some I knew and others I didn't. Each time that one of them would bring a word or phrase up, the whole group would laugh and start talking about the good old days. Among the words I heard were:
Wango- cool, sweet.
Shaggin' Wagon- I pretty much guessed what this one meant when they all went "OHHOHOOOOOO" after shaggin' wagon was said.
Killer Diller- I always assumed this was from The Beatles' Polythene Pam. But I never thought people actually said killer diller.
Cheese Weasel- obnoxious, annoying

They all looked exactly like this man. Even the women.

I enjoyed their conversation so much. It made me want to bring back my own slang from the 90s but also from the 70s. I just want an excuse to say killer diller and I'll be set.

Today's Top Enjoyment

        I appreciate the concept of karma. If some one ever wrongs you but you're unable to get revenge for whatever reason, it's comforting knowing that *not to be too specific* that douche-bag Chandler Vostal will one day get justice for being the douche-bag he is.

The ever-wise and peaceful Buddha once said "In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. Also Brian Vostal is a huge dickhead."

 

          But karma is just overall a good idea. It's a nice thought but can be frightening if you over think it. For example we've all stepped on bugs before, how long will it have to take until karma gets us? So karma is a great thing if it's out to be a dick to be people who were dicks to us, and it's complete crap if it's out to get us cause we don't deserve it. Damn we are hypocrites. I can't believe you people really think all that! You are a disgrace. Karma, we cool? No?
I suppose this post can best be summarized as: Karma's a bitch, ain't that funny?

Enjoyment of the day

This one is probably the weirdest and will most likely remain the weirdest thing to be happy about. Subsequently this is the one I am happiest about. I had dreams for the past few nights in which Mr.T was mentioned as being dead.

Yes, that Mr.T.

         It was never the main focus of the dream; always just a side joke or comment some one would say in the dream. I accepted my dreams for the past week as fact. It popped into my head randomly and I asked my friend if Mr.T was alive because I became somewhat doubtful he died. I was so extremely happy and relieved that Mr.T was alive. I currently use the A-TEAM theme song as my alarm clock. I am just extremely hopeful he doesn't die anytime soon or else I will feel like I caused it.
          In summation, I learned something from this. I learned that the lamest reason to perform inception on somebody would be to plant the idea that Mr.T was dead. I now wish the movie Inception was about that.

Today's top enjoyment

        Have you ever gone sky diving or parachuted out of a moving plane? I've been thinking about extreme sports a little bit today and thought about what it would be like trying to explain to someone who lived 150 years ago what it is we do for entertainment in the 21st century. Think about it. They might discuss some music perhaps, writing and reading and some other small normal things. Once you bring up mountain climbing, extreme ironing (yes extreme ironing), skydiving, roller coasters, pretty much anything that's supposed to be fun or give you a rush nowadays would either be seem as amazing, a complete waste, or so stupid that he tries to ruin the past to make sure it never happens.
         However on the flip-side, the man from 150 years ago would probably like one sport that we would find completely pointless and lame. Curling.

He is pondering going and inventing curling after having
 heard of the worlds most pointless sport.

        On a completely different note, today I enjoyed something. I enjoyed waking up and rising out of bed to pull back my curtain and see a complete white sky. No sign of the sun anywhere. It was not raining, it was not windy. The weather was quiet, white like a sheet of paper covered the sky. Quite breathtaking really.

I enjoy many things, I do.

Since I feel quite fickle about what I want my blog to be, I will combine the ideas I have.
-post something that has caused myself to smirk or something I appreciated. Simple joys in life each day.
-scary things I find.

-If someone wants me to write a song about something, I'll give it a shot.

-Things that are generally on my mind.

Okay blog. Lets do this.

Starting with the thing I enjoyed of the day.

           I was able to search what the interest "snowboarding" on yahoo and found multiple older women with email addresses who claimed they were interested in snowboarding. They all had screen names such as "coolmom457" "awesome.mountain.mama9042" I mainly enjoyed that because they had a series of numbers after their names, this meant that their are probably hundreds of people with the screen name of "coolmom", most of which likely embarrass their kids regularly.

"

All of the "Coolmom"s own this shirt despite being "Coolmom457"

What if...

A deaf, mute person went to a bank and couldn't communicate with the teller. The deaf/mute person slips the teller a note asking for a withdrawal without explaining they are deaf/mute. Would the teller think they are being robbed and call the police? On that note, is it illegal to slip bank tellers notes?

Been stuck in my head all day

You know what I'm glad I'm not?

        A fricking dolphin. I'm glad I'm not a dolphin. There is a crapload of practice that must go into what they do. If I were a dolphin, I would be the one you would never see. You only want to see the cool dolphins at sea world that are super in shape and talented. I would most likely be a fat lazy dolphin. Have you ever seen an obese dolphin? OFCOURSE YOU HAVEN'T. I would like to see one now that I think of it, but not at sea world.

Swimming with this dolphin is not really therapeutic, it's sorta just disturbing.

       The main animals where the rule of "the fatter, the better" applies is with more cuddly animals. Pandas, penguins, and cats, there are good amount more I assume. Fish, on the other hand, can't handle being fat. It's just not cute. Puffer-fish are the only exception. So if you are faced with the decision to be an animal, be a penguin in a zoo. Nobody cares how fit you are, the lazier you are the better. When I grow up I'm gonna be a penguin.

Power Outage

I haven't had power for the past three days really and in that time I really learned something. I learned how goddamn boring it must have been for anyone living in the times of candlelit rooms. I'm all for reading a book and going outside, but at nighttime, electricity makes things more fun.
I thought myself back in time to when I was sitting in the living room with my family at midnight. We talked and laughed and had a good time. But honest to god, conversations can only last so long. I love my family to death, but lights are what make the nightlife appealing. Reading a book by candle light sounds charming on paper, but when put into practice is just difficult due to the eyestrain. I can survive perfectly without power during the daylight, night time just becomes boring. But I suppose I can still stay awake through all hours of the night even in the most boring situations. Glad to have to have the power back and glad to appreciate it that much more. Our founding fathers would have never gotten anything done if they had a ps1 with crash bandicoot. Also, soupy icecream from the powerless fridge don't taste to bad.

Google may or may not know everything.

The other day I lost my keys and I was on the computer. I thought to google "Where are my keys" I stopped myself before hitting search though because I realized that if google actually knew where my keys were, then I'd live the rest of my life in fear.

I found this when cleaning my house. I made this list during the crack unit in health class as a way to prove to the teacher that crack ain't so bad after all.

you are the One ring to rule them all luke skywalker. -Albus Dumbledore

I carved and painted a wand. When I was finished, I decided to place it on my lightsaber display stand. Ooh, plus I called up the cool kids 

to hang out, but they won't return my calls.

Oh and the laughter we had.

The end of an Era

When asked about the birth and the spine-shattering, uterus-tearing sex scene in the last twilight movies, Kristen Stewart said "The birth is really effective, and I've heard it really hits you in the face."
I'm praying that the movie is released in 3D so the birth actually hits you in the face.

Rock you like a hurricane.

I was working on putting the final two cards on top of what would have been a world record card house a couple days ago, then a friggin earthquake hit, knocked it all right down. What are the odds! Naturally I was pissed. But I'm gonna stay persistent! This sunday I'm gonna try again on the eastcoast Beach. Anybody who wants to help make the biggest card house in the world, come on down! I'll just check the
weather report to see if it'll be okay to do it and we'll schedule a time. just gimme a sec.



SON OF A BITCH. 

It Turns Out That She Was Actually Your Cousin: An Introduction

This blog is dedicated to everything I find funny. It's a matter of senses of humor, which I know are dependent on as many screwed up variables as a coked up algebra teacher. (cough). I do not claim to have a great sense of humor but it's worth a shot seeing what things are funny to some people and what things are not. Hopefully my thoughts, pictures I find amusing, and reblogged crap from successful blogs will entertain.